Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
