69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i've created a new STD.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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