Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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