I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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