I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize