I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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