I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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