what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
