Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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