Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
