so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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