a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
