i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
