I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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