Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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