I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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