AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
