So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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