He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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