I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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