How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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