I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
