he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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