He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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