i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize