help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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