You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
