just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
