You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This is not my ceiling
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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