So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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