I'm gonna have a badass scar
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
