When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
