in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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