just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
