Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
