O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
