That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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