Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Too much gin, very little bucket
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
