Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
