It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
