I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
