There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
