I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
