By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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