Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
