i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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