Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
