so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
