When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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