I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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