We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
