I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
