I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize