Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
don't judge my taste in strippers
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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