idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
another moral hangover. fuck.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
