I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
