He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize