Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.

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(894): View more from

just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit

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(301): View more from Maryland

My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate

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(407): View more from Florida

the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.

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(812): View more from Indiana

But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.

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