I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
