whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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