I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
only you would photoshop your dick
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
